Beliefs and Grief: The Invisible Force Shaping Your Reality (And How to Rewrite It).

"Whether you think you can't or you think you can. Either way you are right" Henry Ford.

Imagine trying to rebuild your life after loss, but every time you take a step forward, something invisible pulls you back into that hole of despair. You feel stuck. Exhausted. Confused. Not because you’re doing anything wrong—but because a quiet force inside you is shaping everything you think, feel, and do.

That quiet force? Your beliefs.

Beliefs are not just ideas. They are powerful, subconscious codes that shape your experience of grief—and either keep you trapped in suffering or guide you toward a meaningful life.

In this article, we’ll explore:

• What beliefs really are and why they matter in grief

• The hidden beliefs keeping you stuck

• How to transform unresourceful beliefs with practical tools (including Matrix Reimprinting)

• And how to feel more peace, even in the pain of grief

  
  

This isn’t just about mindset. It’s about reclaiming yourself and your energy for living.

Beliefs and Grief: The Hidden Link No One Talks About.

When someone you love dies—whether from cancer, a sudden illness, or from natural timing —grief doesn’t just affect your emotions. It shakes the very ground your life was built on.

Grief activates your core beliefs about life, love, safety, meaning, and even your identity. Suddenly, continued thoughts like:

• “I can’t go on without them.”

• “I should’ve done more.”

• “If I'm happy it means I’m forgetting them.”

…begin to run wild in the background like a script you didn’t write—but are now living by.

These beliefs often feel so true they go unquestioned. But here’s the truth:

Beliefs aren’t facts. They’re stories and repetative thoughts that your nervous system accepted as reality—often in childhood—and they can be rewritten.

What Are Beliefs, Really?

Beliefs are more than thoughts. They’re the filters through which we experience life.

Psychologist Aaron Beck and epigenetics expert Bruce Lipton have both shown that beliefs shape not only our psychology but even our biology. They’re formed through:

• Early life experiences

• Cultural and family conditioning

• Trauma, emotional imprinting, and repeated thoughts

And once formed, they silently dictate what we notice, feel, expect, and avoid.

Here’s how this plays out in grief:

🔸 Belief: “I must stay strong for everyone.” It manifests like pain suppressed, not asking for help or carrying a crushing emotional load.

🔸 Belief: “I’ll never be okay again.” It manifests like feeling stuck in despair, resisting joy, pleasure, connection and hope.

Without even realizing it, your beliefs design your grief experience.

The Most Common Beliefs That Keep You Stuck in Grief.

Let’s name what’s often unspoken.

Here are some of the common beliefs I often hear as a counsellor:

• “I’ll never be the same.”

• "It should have been me".

• "Im not strong enough to get through this".

• "I'll never love again".

• “I don’t know who I am without them.”

  
  

Do any of these resonate with you?

If so, you’re not alone. These are normal human reactions to loss—but they are not the full truth of who you are. These beliefs often emerge from fear, guilt, shame, or unmet emotional needs from the past.

Ancient Perspectives on Beliefs.

Across history, beliefs were seen as spiritual intelligence.

• In Greek philosophy, pistis meant trust and belief in deeper truths.

• In Sanskrit, shraddha referred to faith that carries us through sorrow.

• In indigenous cultures, beliefs were living stories—passed down as emotional blueprints for resilience.

  
  

Ancient cultures didn’t treat grief as pathology either. They saw it as a rite of passage while beliefs were seen as the tools to guide the heart home.

Like the ancients, holding this understanding about beliefs can help you to attune to their power for transformation.

The Science of Beliefs: How Beliefs Affect Your Grief Biologically.

Modern research proves what the ancients knew. According to Dr. Joe Dispenza - beliefs change brain function and body chemistry. Every belief you hold activates a neurochemical and hormonal response.

Here’s what that means in grief:

• Negative belief: “This pain will never end.”→ Your body triggers the stress response (cortisol, adrenaline), keeping you in survival mode vs.

• Empowering belief: “I’m allowed to grieve and heal in my own time.”→ Your body shifts into a parasympathetic state, allowing rest, repair, and emotional ease and integration.

  
  

Your biology follows your beliefs. That’s why changing them matters more than ever during grief.

Transforming Beliefs During Grief: A Step-by-Step Approach

If you are wanting to explore ways to transform beliefs, grab a pen and let get to it.

Step 1: Identify the Hidden Beliefs

Ask yourself:

• What am I believing about this loss?

• What am I making this loss mean about me, life, or the future?

• Where might I be unconsciously punishing or protecting myself?

📝 Try journaling. Often, beliefs live under the surface of your thoughts—just beyond your conscious awareness.

Step 2: Question the Belief with Compassion

Use compassionate curiosity and ask:

• Is this belief always true?

• What experiences challenge this belief?

• Who would I be without this belief?

• What belief would feel more supportive?

Example:“I can’t live without them.”→ “Is it true I can’t, or is it that I don’t know how to do this yet?”

Even that small shift in words might the key to opening up more ease and possibility.

Step 3: Reframe and Replace the Belief

Reframing is about offering yourself a new lens—one rooted in love rather than fear.

Here's how:

Old Belief:“I should’ve done more.”

Reframe:“I did the best I could with what I knew at the time.”

Old Belief:“Feeling happy means I'm forgetting them.”

New Belief:“Allowing myself to feel joy and pleasure was born out of my love for them".

This is not bypassing. It’s integrating your grief into a more supportive and resourceful belief system.

Step 4: Use the Body to Support the Shift

“The body keeps the score.” — Bessel van der Kolk

Beliefs don’t live in the mind alone—they’re stored in the body too.

Ask yourself:

• Where do I feel this belief in my body?

• Is it tight, heavy, warm, stuck?

• What happens if I breathe into that space with compassion?

You can try:

• Placing your hand on that area and say: “I’m here with you.”

• EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Techniques) on struggles and unease in your grief.

• Stretching or movement to release stagnant emotional energy.

  
  

Step 5: Try Matrix Reimprinting (to Get to the Root)

Matrix Reimprinting is a powerful technique that uses EFT tapping and creative visualisation to examine beliefs, their origins and their original emotional imprint, offering an opportunity for transformation.

After losing her father to cancer, Emma struggled with the belief: “I can’t handle life alone.”Through Matrix Reimprinting, she discovered this belief started in childhood, when her father helped her overcome school challenges. Together, we reframed the belief to:“I am strong and supported.”She didn’t forget her father - she reconnected with her strength.

Matrix Reimprinting doesn’t erase memories. It transforms their emotional charge, so healing becomes gentler and easier.

👉 Learn more about Matrix Reimprinting here.

Beliefs Can Break You or Build You. What will you chose?

Let’s be clear.

Grief will change you. It's meant to.

But it doesn’t have to break you.

Your beliefs are the bridge between your loss, your love and healing. When you shift from “This pain defines me” to “This pain has something to teach me,” everything begins to open up and shift.

It’s not about positive thinking. It’s about truthful, compassionate re-authoring of the stories that shape your reality.

A Mini Practice For Transformation to Begin:

1. Write down one belief you hold about your grief.

2. Ask yourself: Is it kind and loving? Is it helpful? Is it true?

3. What belief would feel more empowering and true for how you want to live life?

4. Say it in your mind. Say it out loud. Write it down. See it as a picture and notice how your body responds.

   
   

If you feel a softening, a release, or even tears - great. Let the healing unfold.

You Can Choose Again.

You don’t have to stay stuck in suffering in your grief.

You can choose beliefs that will support and resource you through grief —not sabotage it.

You can also learn to feel joy again without the guilt. And, you can also honour your loved one and live a meaningful life, on your terms, not from past old stories. You can now rewrite your grief story - and you don’t have to do it alone.

Ready to transform the beliefs holding you back?

Book a free 15-minute consultation to explore Matrix Reimprinting or EFT for grief transformation. Together, we’ll uncover what’s shaping your grief, your struggles and pain —and now you can write a whole new story for how to live life fully alongside grief.

Visit EnergyWithinYou.com.au to start your transformation today.