How to Support Grieving Employees at Work (Without Getting It Wrong).
- Christina S
- Jun 30
- 4 min read
Updated: Jul 4
Grief Doesn’t Start at 8am and check out at 5pm.
When someone walks back into work after losing a loved one, they don’t return as the same person. Their eyes are different, their breath is heavy, and they come with a distracted nod when you say good morning. And yet, many workplaces in different ways expect business as usual.
That’s not just unfair. It’s outdated leadership.
Grief doesn’t follow a schedule. It doesn’t end after a two-day bereavement leave. And if you’re a manager or HR leader who doesn’t know how to support a grieving employee? You’re not alone. But you can change it all, by knowing how.
This guide isn’t about rewriting your policies, even though that too is important . This guide is about learning how to welcome humanness in the workplace and retain people by supporting their grief process and healing.
Why Supporting Grief Is a Workplace Non-Negotiable.
Before we get to the emotional parts of grief, let’s talk about grief and it’s impact on work.
When grief hits, employees don’t just take days off. They show up, but they’re not really there. The first year following the death of a loved one is one of pure survival mode. The brain and body are under an incredible amount of stress accompanied by brain chemistry changes, exhaustion, brain fog, sickness, sleep disturbances and more.
So mistakes happen. Burnout escalates. And colleagues become unsure of how to relate or respond.
In Australia, the Fair Work Act grants just two days of compassionate leave. But the emotional reality of grief? It lasts far longer.
Unacknowledged grief becomes a productivity leak.
Compassionate cultures however, becomes your secret retention tool.
When employees feel seen, heard, and supported, they don’t just recover. They stay longer.
What Grief Looks Like in the Workplace.
Grief doesn’t always look like tears.
Sometimes it’s:
Sudden drop in performance
Trouble concentrating or memory lapses
Irritability or withdrawal
Increased sick days
Overworking as a coping mechanism
The challenge? Many managers misread these signs as lack of motivation. They respond with pressure rather than presence.
Remember: your employee isn’t broken. They’re bereaved. There’s a difference.
How to Talk to a Grieving Employee (Without Making It Worse).
Let’s be honest. Most people freeze when grief enters the room. It’s normal not to know what to say when someone you know has experienced a major loss.
So here’s a few 'how to' tips, to help you to communicate with greater confidence:
DO SAY:
"I imagine this seems surreal returning to work. I’m here to help you."
"Would it help to talk through a flexible return plan together?"
"I understand things might feel different for a while. We can take it one day at a time. How can I best support you?”
AVOID:
Saying things like: "Everything happens for a reason."
Not saying anything at all - if you don't know what to say, just be honest and acknolwedge that it's new terrain for you also. Work together to find a plan that works best.
Making assumptions like:"It's been months, I bet your feeling more like yourself now."
Offering solutions. It might not be what they need. Instead offer your presence.
Grief doesn’t want to be fixed. It wants to be witnessed.
Flexible Support Beyond Bereavement Leave.
Two days off? That’s like saying, you've got the weekend to grieve. Ouch!
If you truly want to support grieving employees, build flexible options into your workplace model by considering:
Staggered return-to-work plans (e.g., part-time hours for a few weeks)
Access to grief support services, like counselling support or EFT tapping
Assign a workplace support buddy who checks in regularly
Allow remote work or flex time during heavy grief periods
Make it known that you value wellbeing over output.
Create a Culture of Compassion.
You can’t legislate empathy, but you can certainly lead by example.
Embed grief sensitivity into your company by:
Offering manager training on trauma-informed communication
Create a formal grief policy available to all staff
Invite grief educators for mini sessions on grief
Encourage peer support circles or sharing spaces
When grief is normalized, people feel safe to show up as they are.
That kind of safety? Breeds innovation, engagement and loyalty.
Atlassian is one example of a company praised for its people-first culture. Their wellness leave policy, mental health initiatives, and flexibility in life events go far beyond the legal minimums.
Your business may not be Atlassian-sized—but your heart can be.
Tapping for Grief: A Tool to Share with anyone struggling with Grief.
Grief doesn’t just live in the mind. It lives in the body.
Grief stress reduction techniques like EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Techniques) can help employees reduce the overwhelm associated with the return to work, help calm their nervous system for better performance and improve their adjustment to work and life.
Here’s a short YouTube video you can share with anyone struggling with grief: Tapping for Grief & Emotional Overwhelm.
You can also Download this free grief tapping guide to add to your wellness resources.
If grief is a universal human experience, then why isn’t grief support available in every workplace?
The best teams aren’t the ones who hit every deadline.
They’re the ones who show up for each other, in good and hard times too.
So don’t wait until grief knocks on your organisation’s door.
Prepare yourself and create that culture of compassion that’s possible.
Christina is a holistic social worker, Matrix Reimprinting, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) practitioner and Reiki master-teacher with a love of holistic practices to enhance wellbeing through grief.
She works with people to free themselves from their grief struggles including those experienced through cancer, so they can move through life with more ease and confidence, all while honouring their loved ones and themselves in their own unique way.
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